You are not alone
Nike Adediwura
Human Resources Business Partner and Diversity and Inclusion Lead
Microsoft Canada
If I had to describe my story in one word it would be, ‘resilience’. If you had asked me this question two years ago, I would have said strong. Let’s begin by defining both. Strength is the quality or state of being physically strong or the capacity to withstand great pressure and be tough. Resilience on the other hand means the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties and to spring back into shape. One solely depicts a state that one must be at all times, where the other allows for a momentary break with the ability to get back up and move forward.
The story I always told myself and how my life was shaped before I became a mother has always been that “I am a strong African woman and there’s nothing I cannot handle.” What I came to realize in the last two years of being a mom is that using the word “strong” was an escape from truly acknowledging how I felt or struggles I was going through. I was under the impression that asking for help wasn’t an option, that when I couldn’t cope with taking care of my daughter, I was a failure for not doing what mothers everywhere do each day. Rather than being kind to myself, I concealed my struggles, gave in to my fears, and ultimately kept the people that love me in the dark about what I was going through. It caused me to reassess what merely surviving and thriving meant. This helped pivot me into what I now proudly acknowledge as resilience. It helped me summon up the courage to speak to a professional, ask for help from my loved ones and accept that I don’t always have to be strong.
"It helped me summon up the courage to speak to a professional, ask for help from my loved ones and accept that I don’t always have to be strong."
Joining Microsoft during a pandemic, working remotely and having the usual jitters about starting a new job was part of building resilience through support. My manager constantly supports me in ensuring I learn at my own pace and trusts my judgement on where we can drive impact. Having a manager that gives me the flexibility to make my role as Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) Lead into my own has empowered me to drive our core priority of inclusion and diversity across Microsoft Canada. One of the most important things I quickly realized in my first few weeks is how much a circle of support can mean to an individual employee, where everyone is genuinely helpful and cares about my success.
Hybrid work has enabled me to prioritize time with my family. The early days of the pandemic were extremely difficult. I missed my family terribly and was paranoid about leaving the house with my toddler daughter for months to go to the park like we did pre-pandemic. Speaking to a therapist helped me realize that talking about my family was when my face lit up the most, so I made a commitment to talk to my family every day. Most of my family lives in the UK and flexibility makes it easier to manage the time difference and I get to speak with them even when I’m working. I am grateful that I work for an organization that recognizes my personal life as an important part of my work life.
My role as D&I Lead combines my passion for creating an equitable environment where employees can bring their whole self to work. My whole self means acknowledging I am a mother to my child that needs me and prioritizing my wellbeing by asking for help when I need it. I am hoping sharing my message of not always having to be strong but finding strength and support to push through will help others see they are not alone and that there are people, communities and organizations that will meet your reaching hand when needed. Speaking through my D&I lens, we are all part of an espoused future we aim to have by putting in work in the present. Getting there won’t be easy but leaning on each other throughout will make it that much easier to achieve. You are not alone.
#DiversityAndInclusion #Wellbeing #Culture