Dubya, Dad, and Dating Pt. 1
Season 3, Episode 1 TV-PG
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George is proud when President George W. Bush (BRENT MENDENHAL) makes a speech at the factory in order to gain more Latino votes. However, the event is slightly marred by rebellious Carmen, who heckles the President about his war policy, embarrassing George. Afterwards, George notices that Bush left his speech on the podium and impulsively takes it. Meanwhile, Benny hesitates to tell George that she is dating a co-worker, the much younger Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN). When Secret Service agents arrive at the Lopez home and inform George that it is a felony to steal Presidential property, he lies and denies having it. Later, at work, he is arrested--but not for stealing the speech. George's estranged father, Manny (recurring guest star WILLIAM MARQUEZ), has filed charges against George for recently assaulting him.
Part one of a two-part episode that concludes in "Dubya, Dad and Dating" Part II
Dubya, Dad, and Dating Pt. 2
Season 3, Episode 2 TV-PG
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In jail for striking his father, Manny (recurring guest star WILLIAM MARQUEZ), George is shocked when Manny arrives. Manny explains that this is the only way he could get George to listen to him apologize for abandoning the family when George was a youngster. Manny gets George released, but George is still reluctant to forgive him for the past. Meanwhile, George's boss informs him that a security camera captured him stealing the President's speech after an appearance at the plant. George reluctantly returns the document. When George invites Manny to dinner at home, Benny is furious to see her ex-husband. She defiantly announces that she is dating much younger factory worker Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN), further upsetting George. Later, she calms George's nerves, reminding him that she sacrificed her love life in order to raise him. George begins to reconcile with his father.
The Cuban Missus Crisis
Season 3, Episode 3 TV-PG
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Angie finds out that her parents are getting divorced. Meanwhile, George becomes nervous and insecure about his marriage when Angie's income as a cosmetics saleswoman increases and her social life improves.
Feel the Burn
Season 3, Episode 4 TV-PG
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Benny receives an unwelcome gift after having sex with her younger boyfriend, Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN). When George accompanies Benny to the gynecologist, he discovers that she secretly gave birth to a girl after he was born and gave her up for adoption. Upon finding his grown-up sister, Linda Lorenzo (LISA GUERRERO - "NFL Monday Night Football," "The Best Damn Sports Show Period"), however, George gets another surprise. Meanwhile, Angie hopes that her parents will reconcile.
Carmen's Dating
Season 3, Episode 5 TV-PG
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Carmen begins dating Jason (recurring guest star BRYAN FISHER), the most popular boy in school, but when he refuses to be seen in public with Carmen, George and Angie intervene. Although they approve of Jason, they urge Carmen to have more self-respect. Meanwhile, Angie's father, Vic (recurring guest star EMILIANO DIEZ), continues to live in the Lopez home--and to irritate George.
Split Decision
Season 3, Episode 6 TV-PG
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When Jack (recurring guest star JACK BLESSING) and Mel (recurring guest star MARK TYMCHYSHYN) Powers, the brothers who own the factory where George works, acquire a lucrative new defense contract, everyone celebrates. Unfortunately, George triggers an argument between the brothers and must soon choose sides. After the owners decide not to split the company, a tragedy involving their airplane parts threatens the future of the company. Meanwhile, George and Angie teach Carmen about values when she tries to fit in with her rich friends at private school.
No One Gets Out Alive
Season 3, Episode 7 TV-PG
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After the crash of an airplane built from parts made at George's factory, the nervous employees blame one another. An inspector interviews them and then closes the plant temporarily until it is determined what happened. Desperate, George's boss asks him to prevent his workers from quitting. To earn money for the displaced staffers, the Lopez family turns their home into a haunted house on Halloween. Meanwhile, Benny suffers a delayed reaction to the accident.
Bringing Home the Bacon
Season 3, Episode 8 TV-PG
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With his job in jeopardy, George tries to cancel Carmen's expensive quinceañera (15th birthday party). But since Angie is successful with her cosmetics business, she gets to make the financial decisions in the family now--to George's chagrin. Meanwhile, Carmen agonizes over how to tell her boyfriend, Jason (recurring guest star BRYAN FISHER), that she loves him without scaring him away.
Fishing Cubans
Season 3, Episode 9 TV-PG
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When Angie's uncle needs help defecting from Cuba by raft, George, Ernie and Angie's father, Vic (recurring guest star EMILIANO DIEZ), head out to sea--and have a confrontation with the U.S. Coast Guard. Meanwhile, Max hosts an unsanctioned birthday party for himself.
Would You Like a Drumstick or a Kidney?
Season 3, Episode 10 TV-PG
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When George invites his extended family, including his estranged father, Manny (recurring guest star WILLIAM MARQUEZ); his stepmother, Lydia (recurring guest star CRISTINA SARALEGUI - host of the Spanish-language talk show "El Show de Cristina"); and his stepbrother, also named George (recurring guest star LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS - "Courage Under Fire") to Thanksgiving dinner, he discovers that his father needs a new kidney. Meanwhile, Benny returns to work at the factory--with major reservations.
Mementos
Season 3, Episode 11 TV-PG
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George is preparing to donate one of his kidneys to his ailing father. At the same time, he gets rid of some of Angie's cherished mementos. When George finds out that his dad has died, he learns that the things one leaves behind can be important--albeit painful--reminders of their life.
Christmas Punch
Season 3, Episode 12 TV-PG
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After overhearing his parents planning to buy him the presents that he asked Santa Claus for, Max doubts the existence of Santa. George stages an elaborate scheme to persuade Max that Santa is real, but after a bully beats Max up at school for believing in Santa, George must take drastic action. Meanwhile, Carmen's boyfriend finds Carmen's public displays of affection embarrassing--and George definitely agrees with him.
Why You Crying?
Season 3, Episode 13 TV-PG
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When Max begins misbehaving at school because of his learning disability--and disrespecting his elders at home--Benny disciplines him, provoking rage from George and Angie. But even George begins to lose faith in his rebellious young son after Max refuses to study more diligently.
The Trouble with Ricky
Season 3, Episode 14 TV-PG
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After Max's mischievous friend Ricky (recurring guest star J.B. GAYNOR) causes more trouble in the Lopez home, George bans him from the house. But Angie persuades George to allow Ricky to live there temporarily because Ricky's parents are having marital trouble. Ricky continues to be a bad influence on Max, however, forcing George to confront Ricky's mother--and George finds out why Ricky has so many behavioral problems. Meanwhile, Ernie enjoys coaching kids' soccer until he learns how involved in the game the parents get.
God Needles George
Season 3, Episode 15 TV-PG
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When Mr. Needles, the family dog, is diagnosed with a tumor, George informs Max that the veterinarian has recommended that Mr. Needles be euthanized the next day. Max promises God that he will be nice to Carmen for a month if He saves Mr. Needles' life, and he forces his skeptical father to make a deal with God as well. Miraculously, Mr. Needles recovers--but George finds that keeping his bargain with God will be much harder than Max doing so.
Benny and Randy
Season 3, Episode 16 TV-PG
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When Benny's much younger boyfriend, Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN), offers her the key to his apartment, commitment-wary Benny flees. Although he is repulsed by the relationship, George tries to explain his acerbic mother to Randy--but Benny ends up furious at George for meddling. Meanwhile, Ernie tries to impress women by pretending to be an insurance adjuster, but George refuses to help in the charade.
Weekend at Benny's
Season 3, Episode 17 TV-PG
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After Angie goes away on a business trip and George realizes how unruly his kids are, he sends Carmen and Max to Benny's house for the weekend to teach them a lesson about tough love. When Angie comes home early and finds George relaxing in the backyard, she berates him for making a family decision without her input. But George finds out that Angie has been doing some single-handed parenting of her own.
Jason Tutors Max
Season 3, Episode 18 TV-PG
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When George and Angie hire a beautiful tutor, Ashley (PARIS HILTON - "The Simple Life"), for Max, he becomes too distracted to learn. Carmen's boyfriend, Jason (recurring guest star BRYAN FISHER), volunteers to tutor Max, but when Carmen and Jason break up, teenage angst rules the house.
Angie Gets Tanked
Season 3, Episode 19 TV-PG
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When George and Angie work at the dunk tank for a school fund-raiser, a student's prank puts Angie in a very embarrassing position. Meanwhile, George becomes fiercely competitive when New York Yankee KENNY LOFTON (himself) helps raise money for handicapped children.
The Art of Boxing
Season 3, Episode 20 TV-PG
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Without his mom's knowledge, Max takes up boxing at a local ring owned by the daughter of boxing legend Muhammad Ali, LAILA ALI (herself), in order to relieve stress and insomnia. George and Benny try their best to keep Max's new pastime a secret from Angie, but that becomes more difficult when Max gets a black eye.
George's House of Cards
Season 3, Episode 21 TV-PG
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George invites Angie's newly divorced dad, Vic (recurring guest star EMILIANO DIEZ), to join a nickel-and-dime poker match. But when George wins fifty dollars on one hand, and Vic refuses to pay him, a simple game threatens to split apart the family.
Dance Fever
Season 3, Episode 22 TV-PG
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After receiving an award for excellence in business management, George tries to gain approval from his mom by dancing at the congratulatory party--but ends up humiliating himself in front of his entire staff. Meanwhile, Carmen tries to protect the baked goods she has prepared for the Great American Bake Sale from Max, but she neglects to protect them from George.
She Drives Me Crazy
Season 3, Episode 23 TV-PG
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Carmen is excited about going to the prom with her boyfriend, Jason (recurring guest star BRYAN FISHER), and wants to get her license and drive herself for the first time. Despite the fact that Carmen has a learner's permit, George thinks she's too young to drive and proves to be an impatient teacher. But after Carmen has relationship problems with Jason and drives while angry, George finally explains why he's worried about her.
George Goes to Disneyland
Season 3, Episode 24 TV-PG
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Max is excited about the Lopez family's trip to Disneyland, but George refuses to go because it reminds him of his deprived childhood. However, he becomes overwhelmed with guilt that he is not sharing the fun with his son. After convincing Benny to drive him to the amusement park, George fails to find his family. But he does get to experience a day at "the happiest place on earth" for the first time in his life--alone with his mom.
Bachelor Party
Season 3, Episode 25 TV-PG
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As wedding plans progress for Benny and Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN), clumsy factory worker Amy (recurring guest star/executive producer SANDRA BULLOCK - "Two Weeks Notice"), returns from 6 months in the hospital and tries to win Randy back.
Wrecking Ball
Season 3, Episode 26 TV-PG
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Still furious about the breakup with her boyfriend, Benny smashes the hood of her boss' car with a golf club. Later, when the factory is vandalized, Benny gets blamed for that too--but it's a crime she didn't commit.
What George Doesn't Noah
Season 3, Episode 27 TV-PG
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Carmen's friend Noah (recurring guest star JOHNNY PACAR) goes to extremes to help Carmen keep her relationship with Zack (recurring guest star TREVOR WRIGHT) a secret from her parents. But when George and Angie discover the truth, they become enraged.
Now George Noah Ex-Zackly What Happened
Season 3, Episode 28 TV-PG
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George and Angie confront Carmen regarding her relationship with Zack (recurring guest star TREVOR WRIGHT). When George speaks to Zack, the boy's true intentions toward Carmen become clear--infuriating George. To protect their daughter from this cad, George and Carmen forbid her to see Zack. But Carmen takes a drastic measure to remain with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Randy (recurring guest star NICK OFFERMAN) returns to work and tries to reunite with Benny, but she rejects him. Later, at George's house, Randy brings some very special musical guests, THE COMMODORES (themselves), to perform one of their hits, hoping to win Benny back.